Season 1, Episode 11: A Great Personality
"Here, let me help you a little bit. How about, 'Face like Marsha Brady... caboose like Jennifer Lopez?'" -Trevor
"Which would you rather? To be forced to belly-dance to 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' by RuPaul at the half-time Superbowl high-light show or bungie jump from 1,800 feet while wild boars gnaw at your thighs into the waiting arms of Marv Albert hearing Michael Bolton sing every cover of every song ever written." -Trevor
"I'll take any other topic for a thousand, Alex." -Claire
"'If you were a car.' See, you have contestants, not married, singles, but singles who don't want to be single, right? And then the ones that pick the exact opposite, for instance a Viper and Jugo. You send them to Mykonos. You put 'em in a room together, you amp them up on Ouzo, you put them in one single bed, lock the door, videotape the entire thing." -Trevor
"So I guess you're thinking FOX, right?" -Claire
"Kinda like a 'Newlywed,' 'Real World' kinda 'Kids Say the Darndest Things' hybrid." -Trevor
"Coffee. The sexual lubricant of the '90s. I could never understand, when I'm in those places, are they actually ordering or announcing some sort of gymnastics event? What we just witnessed, Champ, is a perfectly executed triple half-caf soy latte dismount. Uneven venti. Soy! Ice, ice!" -Trevor
"There's nothing wrong with coffee unless you're actually meeting a secret admirer behind your quasi-semi-psuedo-super-secret girlfriend's back." -Trevor
"A cool woman is tough to find." -Mike
"Warm funny passionate bug-eyed gentleman looking for a really great gal." -Trevor
Written by Rob Thomas, Directed by Deran Sarafian
Special Guest Star Christine Taylor. Marc Vann, and Grant Heslov.
Champ gets a letter from a fan who has been following his career since Shakespeare in the park. He tells Trevor he's flattered, but things are going well with Chris. That night he's watching a movie with Chris when she pulls a "So what are we doing?" on him. He turns off the movie, and seriously addresses her concerns by telling her that he's not sure, but he's having a great time, and maybe they should just keep having a good time and not try to predict the future. His prize in the Cracker Jack box is a plastic ring which he puts on Chris's finger and tells her it signifies great like.
A new woman, Yvonne, shows up in the singles group. She is a gorgeous blonde who wants to be appreciated for her personality, not her outside beauty. She tells stories about how she tries to test men to see why they like her by telling them that she's going to shave her head or she has a pathological fear of sex. Trevor decides to help her write a personals ad that will find the right kind of man. Meanwhile, the guys from the singles group go to a hot club full of supermodels and get shot down, although Mike gets along well with the waitress.
Yvonne has trouble designing the perfect ad, and decides to ask potential dates to write her a haiku. The man sitting next to her at the bar spouts off a lovely haiku. Claire shows up and it turns out that the man at the bar is her book editor. He calls Trevor by name without being introduced to him. Trevor wonders how he knew his name. Claire and her editor make up excuses. She takes her editor to her office and he tells her that Trevor is even more of a character than she let on in her first chapter, and by the way, where's the second chapter? She says she doesn't want to write a book that's just about Trevor's adventures, she'd rather write about curing him, and there hasn't been much curing.
Trevor, as a joke, pitches a game-show idea to Claire matching up couples by what car they would be.
Yvonne gets back her reponses and goes out on a date with a guy named Ken. They have a great time, and to test him she tells him she's celibate. He takes it all in stride, and she can't believe how well things are going.
Claire's secretary likes Trevor's game-show idea. Claire says that actually that was a question that they would ask at the Colony Institute, and Trevor was probably a patient there. It turns out that the doctor in charge is someone that Claire doesn't get along with: Ian Frechette. After trading insults, Dr. Frechette gives her a zip disk full of information about the Colony Institute. Claire finds a patient named Preston Milke who suffered romantic trauma when he gained 150 lbs. in six months and was dumped by his fiance. When asked what car he would be, Mr. Milke said a VW Bug, because that is what his fiance drove.
Ken calls Yvonne and asks her out again.
Champ is considering going out for coffee with his secret admirer. Trevor warns him against going for the great unknown.
Claire and Trevor spot Yvonne and Ken on their sixth date ice-skating in the park. They're having a great time, and Yvonne finally tells him that she feels like she doesn't have anything left to prove with this celibacy thing. He kisses her passionately. They are being watched by a good-looking man... the same man from Yvonne's "I'm going to shave my head" story.
Another night at the hot model-filled club, Mike is still talking to the waitress, while the others give up and decide to go back to Tagerty's. A model grabs Mike's attention, and he momentarily looks away while the waitress walks away, figuring he'd rather talk to the model. He looks around for her, but can't find her.
The other guys walk into Tagerty's where Yvonne and Ken and sitting and talking with others from the group. The good-looking guy comes in and tells Yvonne that he should have been more understanding about the shaving her head thing, and he's sorry and wants her back. She blows him off.
Champ and Chris come back from a great date. A woman named Michelle calls and leaves a message. Chris gets jealous until Champ explains that Michelle is his sister. He overeacts to her jealousy, though. He asks Chris to leave and decides to go to coffee with the stranger.
Mike is still at the club at last call. He asks out the waitress and she tells him she has a boyfriend.
Ken comes into Tagerty's with the darts that he accidently stole the night before. He tells Trevor and Claire that Yvonne went back to other good-looking guy. Ken says he'll survive, but he's obviously sad.
Claire tells Trevor about Preston Milke and guages his reaction. He doesn't react strangely. She asks him what car he would be. He says of course, a Love bug.
Champ is waiting to meet his secret admirer. A bike messenger shows up and gives him an envelope. Inside is the plastic Cracker Jack ring that he gave to Chris. Champ is upset. Chris is sadly watching from the distance.
Yvonne is out with her good-looking boyfriend, and is bored.
Claire starts the second chapter of her book, entitled "The Love Bug."