Season 1, Episode 14: The Children's Hour


"By Jove, I think she's got it, and I know Jove personally, and he is bi." -Trevor

"Lick your teeth. You don't want that dry teeth thing where your lips stick and you walk over to her and say, 'Hey, I'm Luther. It would be lovely if we could walk over to a frozen lake and I could lick you all over like a lizard. You're just so lovely the way you work with your hands. I bet you have real firm buttocks and it's all snowy outside and lovely lovely lick lick ila licky licky." -Trevor
"Okay, maybe you should wait in the car." -Luther

"Trevor, get out! Or if you find English difficult to understand, Boom Boom! Hacki tacki!" -Claire
"I have no idea what that means." -Trevor
"Just go." -Claire

"I'm a friend of Luther's. Is he here?" -Trevor
"No, he went to get me some medicated pad for my-" -Ellen
"Medicated pads! That's all the information I need." -Trevor

"Champ! Champion of decency. If you were a pass, you'd be the bomb. If you were a cheeseball, you'd be rolled in nuts. If you were a strip club you'd be totally nude." -Trevor

"The appropriate drink for you young ladies is the nectar of Eros. Drink a great deal of that. Don't belch near open flames." -Trevor

"Happy Cupid's Day, Trevor." -Claire


Written by Hart Hanson, Directed by Michael Katleman

Special guest star Tiffani-Amber Thiessen

Guest starring Ben Bodé, Jamie Renee Smith, Joey Zimmerman, Noelle Bou-Sliman, Melanie Deanne Moore, Stephnie Weir

Co-starring Paul Adelstein as Mike, Jeff Parise as Nick, Daniel Bryant as Laurence. Featuring Mary Ann Thebus as Ellen Calder, Lucina Paquet as Little Old Lady, Joe Foust as Goateed Clerk, Aaron Himelstein as Andy Tucker, Jacob Miller as Jesse, Joe Forbrich as Tina's Guy.